Understanding Triggers: Navigating the Holidays with Emotional Awareness

As the holiday season approaches, many of us anticipate gathering with loved ones, sharing meals, and celebrating traditions. However, for some, the holidays can bring a mix of joy and unease. If you find yourself feeling unexpectedly overwhelmed by emotions or as though you’re revisiting past experiences, you may be encountering a “trigger.” Understanding what triggers are and why they surface—especially during this season—can empower you to approach them with compassion and resilience.

What is a Trigger?

A trigger is an emotional or physical response that arises in reaction to a reminder of past experiences, often rooted in memories that we may not be fully aware of. These triggers can stem from sensory cues, such as a familiar smell, song, or setting, or from particular interactions, like family gatherings. For those who have lived through challenging times, these triggers can feel like a sudden resurfacing of past emotions, even if the current situation is safe.

Triggers can be personal and unique, varying from person to person based on past experiences. For example, the smell of cinnamon or the sight of holiday lights may spark joy for one person but evoke sadness or stress for another. This is particularly true if these sensory cues connect to memories of loss, difficult family dynamics, or other unresolved emotions.

Why Do Triggers Surface More During the Holidays?

The holiday season is a rich sensory experience, often filled with traditions, family interactions, and social expectations. This can create fertile ground for triggers to surface. Let’s explore three reasons why this season is particularly potent for bringing triggers to the surface:

1. Heightened Emotional Expectations: The holidays often carry an implicit expectation to feel festive and joyful, which can create tension if you’re experiencing internal struggles. This contrast can lead to feelings of isolation or self-doubt, especially if you feel at odds with the season’s “cheer.”
2. Sensory Overload: Holiday scents, sounds, and familiar sights may unconsciously stir up memories of past experiences, both pleasant and challenging. For example, holiday meals might remind you of loved ones who are no longer present, or decorations may bring back memories of times marked by family tension.
3. Family Gatherings and Social Dynamics: Family interactions often bring up layers of unresolved emotions and relational patterns. Connecting with family members can sometimes reawaken old wounds or remind us of unresolved dynamics, even when the intent of gathering is positive.

Building Emotional Awareness to Manage Triggers

To navigate triggers effectively, it helps to develop a keen awareness of both body and mind, observing how you respond in moments when triggers arise. Tuning into your own responses can be a powerful tool for managing emotional intensity, especially when past and present experiences overlap.

1. Listening to the Body: When triggered, it’s common to feel physical reactions like tightness in the chest, a racing heart, or an urge to withdraw. Noticing these sensations can be grounding; they offer clues about where tension may be held. Simple practices like mindful breathing or paying attention to physical sensations, such as placing a hand on your heart, can help you find a moment of calm.
2. Observing Your Inner Responses: During triggering moments, you may notice a range of responses within yourself—some that feel vulnerable and others that are defensive or self-protective. By gently observing these responses without judgment, you create space to understand what your inner experience is communicating. Rather than pushing away these emotions, embracing them with curiosity and self-compassion can reduce their intensity over time.

Practical Steps to Navigate Holiday Triggers

While awareness is a foundational step, having tools to manage your response to triggers is equally important. Here are some practical strategies to help you move through holiday challenges:

1. Anticipate and Plan: Consider potential triggers and prepare a plan for how you might respond. For example, decide how long you’d like to stay at a gathering, or plan grounding practices before and after events.
2. Honor Boundaries: Remember, it’s okay to step back from situations or gatherings that feel overwhelming. Boundaries are not about isolating yourself but rather creating safe spaces where you feel supported and in control.
3. Use Grounding Techniques: When a trigger surfaces, bring yourself back to the present moment with simple grounding practices. This could include deep breathing, focusing on the texture of an object, or observing small details around you. These techniques help bring your attention to the here and now, offering your body a chance to calm.
4. Offer Yourself Compassion: If you feel heightened emotions, give yourself grace. Triggers are a natural part of healing, and your experiences do not define your strength or growth.
5. Reach Out for Support: If navigating triggers feels difficult, consider reaching out to someone who understands. A therapist, counselor, or trusted friend can provide validation and comfort, helping you feel less alone in your experience.

Moving Through the Season with Compassion and Awareness

Learning to understand and navigate triggers is an ongoing journey, especially during emotionally charged times like the holidays. As familiar sights, sounds, and situations arise, remind yourself that it’s natural to experience a range of emotions. Instead of aiming for an idealized experience, focus on responding to your needs with kindness and patience. In doing so, you create space for moments that are meaningful and grounded, transforming the holiday season into a time of resilience and self-connection.