Why do I feel so off after something bad happens?
When something traumatic or deeply upsetting happens—whether it’s a loss, accident, natural disaster, or scary experience—your body’s nervous system reacts. You might feel:
- Foggy or jumpy
- Like you’re floating outside of yourself
- Disconnected from time or reality
- Unable to calm your thoughts or slow your heart rate
These are normal trauma responses. Grounding tools can gently guide your body back to safety and presence.
What are grounding tools and why do they help?
When we’re triggered—by a loud sound, a painful memory, or a difficult experience—our nervous system reacts quickly. We move into a fight, flight, or freeze state, also known as sympathetic nervous system activation. This is our body’s built-in alarm system, designed by God to help us survive danger.
In these moments, the thinking part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex) goes offline temporarily so that your body can respond to the perceived threat. You might feel:
- Disoriented
- Foggy or confused
- Easily overwhelmed
- Physically shaky or tense
- Emotionally numb or explosive
This is called flooding—when your brain and body are overwhelmed with input. Research shows it can take at least 20 minutes (sometimes longer) for the thinking brain to come back online after a stress response is triggered.
This is where grounding comes in.
Grounding exercises help activate your parasympathetic nervous system—the “rest and restore” system God placed in our bodies to calm us down after danger passes. These practices lower your heart rate, deepen your breathing, and gently return you to your window of tolerance—the place where you can think clearly, feel emotions without being overwhelmed, and make choices instead of reacting impulsively.
In other words, grounding helps your entire brain come back online.
This design isn’t flawed—it’s protective. God created your body with wisdom. There’s no shame in being overwhelmed after something hard. The invitation is to ride the wave, knowing that with time, breath, and support, your nervous system will regulate, and clarity will return.
Grounding tools help you wait out the wave and reconnect with God, others, and yourself.
What grounding exercises can I do right now?
1. Belly Breathing
- Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
- Breathe in deeply through your nose so your belly rises.
- Breathe out slowly through your mouth and feel your belly fall.
- Repeat this for a few minutes, letting your breath slow down.
This tells your body: You’re safe now. You’re okay.
2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
This sensory exercise helps bring your attention to the here and now.
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
3. Walking Outside and Noticing
Get outside if you can. Walk slowly and notice:
- The texture of the ground under your feet
- The movement of the trees
- The sound of birds or the breeze
- How the air feels on your skin
- The shape of the clouds
Nature has a powerful way of helping us reconnect with what’s real.
4. Use a Grounding Object
Hold something with texture—like a smooth stone, piece of fabric, or even a cup of cold water. Focus on:
- What it feels like
- The weight or temperature
- The texture and shape
You can say aloud: I am here. This is now. I am safe.
What grounding words help during a panic or trigger?
Speak these to yourself, out loud if possible:
- “I’m allowed to feel this.”
- “It’s okay that this is hard.”
- “I am safe right now.”
- “This moment is passing.”
- “I am not alone.”
How can I help my child feel grounded after something scary?
Children often don’t have the words to explain fear or trauma, but their bodies and behaviors tell the story. Here’s how you can help:
1. A Welcomed Hug
If your child is open to it, hold them gently—without rushing—until they begin to relax or until they pull away. A warm, present hug from someone safe helps reset their nervous system.
2. Sensory Play
Offer things to touch like playdough, water beads, or a sensory bin filled with rice or beans. This anchors their awareness and gives them something tangible to interact with.
3. Move Together
Movement helps release tension:
- Walk around the block
- Do slow stretches
- Try a bear crawl or crab walk game
4. Name the Safe Things
Say:
- “You are safe now.”
- “I’m here.”
- “Let’s find 5 blue things in the room.”
These simple statements remind them they’re not alone and they’re in a safe space now.
Can faith help me feel grounded?
Yes. For many people, their faith is a steadying force when the world feels unsteady. God doesn’t expect us to pretend we’re fine—He meets us in the overwhelm and brings comfort there.
You might:
- Read Scripture out loud
- Listen to calming worship music
- Sit in silence and simply ask for God’s nearness
What if I’m still struggling after a few days or weeks?
If your body and mind aren’t settling down, it’s okay to reach out. You might need more support if you’re experiencing:
- Panic attacks or flashbacks
- Sleep disruption or nightmares
- Avoidance of places or people
- A sense that you’re always on edge
- Difficulty focusing or functioning day to day
Trauma-informed counseling can help you process what happened and support your healing journey. Schedule here You’re not broken—you’re human.
Final Word: You’re not overreacting. Your body is responding to something hard—and healing is possible.
You don’t need to “snap out of it.” You need care, compassion, and tools. Grounding is one step in the direction of healing.
If you’re looking for someone to walk with you, the team at Steadfast Christian Counseling is here. You don’t have to do this alone.
🌿 Calm Safe Space Reflection
Guided Grounding Script
Let’s take a moment to get still.
You don’t need to fix anything.
You don’t need to perform.
You don’t even need to figure anything out right now.
Just come as you are.
Take a deep breath in…And slowly exhale.
Feel your body in the chair.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Let your shoulders soften.
There is nowhere else you need to be.
Nothing else you need to carry right now.
Just be here.
Now imagine that you are sitting in a space that feels safe to you.
It might be a real place… or something your imagination creates.
Maybe it’s a porch swing.
A quiet beach.
A blanket by a fire.
A room filled with sunlight.
Wherever it is, let yourself feel grounded.
You are safe here.
You are not alone.
Now imagine Jesus is in that space with you.
Not rushing you.
Not correcting you.
Just with you.
His presence is kind.
Steady.
Unshaken by your pain or your questions.
He’s not going anywhere.
You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to.
You can simply be with Him.
Now gently ask yourself:
“Is there anything inside your suitcase—any part of your heart—that you would like to bring closer to Jesus today?”
You don’t have to unpack it all. Just notice what rises up. And know that He’s already holding it with compassion.
Now take a deep breath…And visualize Jesus with that wounded part of you.
What do you imagine He is doing?Is He sitting quietly beside you?Is He placing His hand on your shoulder?Is He speaking words of peace or simply being present?
There’s no right answer. Just let the picture form and trust that His love is there.
Now, listen to this truth:
“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing.”(Zephaniah 3:17)
Let yourself rest in that.
You are safe.
You are seen.
You are loved.
