Perinatal Anxiety & Intrusive Thoughts | IFS Therapy in Charleston

If you’ve had a sudden, terrifying thought pop into your mind during pregnancy or postpartum… you’re not crazy. You’re not failing. And you’re not alone.

Many parents are surprised by how intense the perinatal period can feel — not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too. The perinatal period includes pregnancy and often extends well beyond birth, sometimes into the first year or two as your body, identity, relationships, and nervous system adapt.

At Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC, we often hear parents describe:

Feeling unlike themselves
Excessive worry about the baby’s safety
Disturbing intrusive thoughts that bring instant panic
Shame about what’s happening internally
A sense of emotional numbness or shutdown

This is where a compassionate framework like Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be life-changing.

What is the “perinatal period” (and why the word matters)?

Many people still use the term “postpartum,” but clinicians often use perinatal because it includes pregnancy and the longer adjustment window after birth. This matters because parents can feel confused when symptoms show up months later — as if they “should be over it by now.”

But the truth is: your body and brain are doing something enormous.

Why intrusive thoughts can happen — and why they feel so intense

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted mental images or ideas that can feel shocking, scary, or deeply upsetting. For parents, they often center around harm coming to the baby, accidental danger, or “what if I lose control?”

The panic and distress you feel after an intrusive thought is often a sign you don’t want it.
Your nervous system is responding — not revealing your character. An intrusive thought is a symptom of an overwhelmed nervous system.

An IFS way to understand perinatal anxiety (without shame)

IFS teaches that we all have “parts” — inner roles that show up under stress — and beneath them is our grounded “Self” (your regulated, spirit-led center).

In perinatal seasons, parts often get louder because your window of tolerance gets smaller (sleep loss, hormones, identity shift, relationship changes, isolation, etc.).

Here are three common categories of parts:

1) Managers (high-functioning protectors)
These parts try to prevent danger and keep things under control. In the perinatal period, they can look like:

Constant checking to see if baby is breathing
Spiraling “what if” thoughts
Perinatal OCD-style loops
Hypervigilance or excessive worry

2) Exiles (tender, younger wounds)
These are often old attachment pains or unmet needs that resurface when you become a parent. Parenting can awaken questions like:

“Am I safe?”
“Will I be abandoned?”
“Will I mess this up like it was for me?”

3) Firefighters (emergency shut-off system)
When emotions feel too intense, firefighters may try to put out the fire. Depression can sometimes function this way — not because you’re weak, but because your system is trying to survive.

Practical support: what actually helps in the perinatal period

A few grounded takeaways:

Name it without feeding it. “There’s an intrusive thought.” (and let it pass like a cloud)
Get curious about the part. “What are you trying to protect? What do you need?”
Reduce isolation. Find one safe person to tell the truth to. Go to counseling.
Ask for real help. If someone comes over, it’s okay to say: “Please do the dishes while I hold the baby.”
Don’t wait until it’s unbearable. Therapy can be proactive, not just crisis care.